"Great things never come from comfort zones."
"If the sky comes falling down.. for you.. there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do."
Note to Self: Sweat
I try to tell myself that sweat is just my fat cells crying. Seems to be working so far ;p
So I guess I’ve started somewhat of a personal journey for myself. Working this whole self love thing and trying not to get so caught up in the negatives.
About a week ago I had to go to the dentist to get my tooth looked at since I was told I needed to get a root canal. Well they took my blood pressure and man it was high. Like hypertension high. Granted it is always a little higher at the dentist because I don’t like to go, that still doesn’t explain it. Also she took my BP on my right arm and not left because I had just gotten my tattoo there. Anyway, it made me really look at myself, and I realized I’ve dug myself into a little hole where depressed me doesn’t know how to get out.
So I decided I need to change. I’m a little over a month out from college graduation but I still haven’t found who I am or who I want to be. I signed up for a free fit camp not far from the apartment and have begun the 4 week program. It’s 3 nights a week where they do circuit training type workouts with different stations set up.
Just from the past week of eating better, getting enough sleep, and working out a few days, I feel a lot better than I did just last week. I’m sleeping better and thinking positively. It’s amazing how just moving your body can give you enough endorphins to edge off some depression. I’m staying positive and looking ahead to a happier and healthier me.
I think the worst thing about depression/anxiety is that people want to know why. I had a panic attack in the bathroom because I’m a junior in college and just dawned on me that I’m not happy and won’t be happy with my major. My roommate kept asking, “why are you stressed, you’re fine” but let me tell you, there’s nothing like feeling all alone in a crowded room or realizing that you aren’t as good at the one thing you always thought you want to do. Don’t justify your problems. You can have a panic attack in wal-mart and it’s got nothing to do with being “dramatic”. Don’t let people tell you that you don’t need help, that you just need to “get over it”. Your problems aren’t any more or less of a big deal. They obviously matter enough to you to scare you to the point of paralysis then they matter and you need to know that for every one person that doesn’t understand, there’s plenty that do.